Wednesday, September 15, 2010


When I was courting, some of my ex's asked me to choose between her and cigarettes. Demi cinta setia. I really dont know why this was (and still is) the favourite love test of all time among ladies. I knew some of my friends chose the love of their life over the burning tobacco sticks. Good for them. Live long and prosper and healthy and lots, and lots of love all around I would say.

Its great, isnt it? But come on, if that is the measure of love, those tall, dark and handsome men in the romantic world of Mills and Boons will surely have fall on their muscled knees on the grounds, and laugh themselves silly. I'll go for death defying acts, or to copy David Blaine, expose myself to dangerous stunts like being buried alive or hanging upside down hundreds of feet on the air for days. Break the records and win a woman's love. Thats the way to do it.

Men are no better either.

In our society, its not unheard of that men asked his girlfriend to berubah and wear tudung. While the intention is good, ie, following the sacred religious dogma, what guarantees the act as ikhlas? More often than not its done because of cinta, which in my book is but a wrong reason to do it in the first place.

In short, the question that bugs me the most is why the imposing act? Kalau tak impose tak boleh cintan maut ke?

I couldnt help but think that sometimes the phrases and the supposed noble acts of demi kasih, or demi cinta setia is one of many contributing factors in the crumbling morals of our society nowadays. Men would definitely take advantage of the lovey dovey situations and girls might be blinded and sacrificed what they hold dear to prove their love. Be smart, boys and girls. It will not be a lovey dovey situation to be in, 9 months after that!

I am of the opinion if a person loves the other person so much, he or she should accept all that comes with the package, flaws, shortcomings, buck toothed or mata juling included. I mean, isnt that the greatest act of love that a person can show to his loved one? Accepting them for what they are?

I really think, sometimes changes that were asked for from the other is just to suit a particular person's thinking and lifestyle and the demi cinta setia factor was used blatantly for justification. For me, suggestions and discussions is okay, but to demand and to impose kehendak and then argue that its because love demands it, is very, very wrong. Seriously, we do not live our lives according to some Bollywood movie scripts and a person have every right to think and act for themselves as long as they do not disturb peaceful existence of other people.

Having wrote that, there is nothing wrong if someone wants to change on their own for the better demi cinta setia. Love should be the inspiring factor, and not to be used as emotion bargaining tools.

The thing is, changes must come from within oneself. Its never a good idea to impose our will, whim and fancies unto others.

Especially demi cinta setia.

Akula's note

For the record, my relationship with the above mentioned ex were burned off because she cannot accept my hazy, smoking self. ;)

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