Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I sometimes wonder what goes inside my soon to be 6 year old little girl's head.

Arissa : Snow White slept for a hundred years.

I tried to correct her and pointed out that its not Snow White who slept for a hundred years.

Akula : No, she did not. Thats Sleeping Beauty.
Arissa : I know that, but she still slept anyway. And they woke up the same way. A prince kissed them.
Akula: Its a different prince. Because its a two different story.
Arissa : I know that too, but he's still a prince, Abah.
Akula : *@&*%&*^^&(&*(^*&*!

I give up!

Friday, January 22, 2010


I have a friend.

Recently he complained about having headaches all the time and chest pains. He went to see a doctor and was diagnosed as suffering from high blood pressure and high cholesterol. The chest pains turns out to be panic attacks.

We talked about it.

I told him that maybe its time to start exercising. Told him my story, of how I did it. He said he will try.

2 months ago, we had the same conversation abut his health. Again complained about his high blood pressure. I asked him if he had started exercising, and he told me that he dont have time to do it.

About a week ago, we chatted again, and again he complained of the same thing.

Akula's friend :"Ah, aku sibuk sangat, tak de masa nak buat."

Risking my friendship, I told him ;

"Bro, anak hang semua mengiak-ngiak lagi. Yang kecik tak sampai setahun pun. Kalau ler takdir hang pendek umur sebab masalah kesihatan hang ni, apa nak jadi dengan anak bini hang. Kalau hang kiok kira oraitlah, itu masalah hang dengan Tuhan dalam kubur. Ni yang tinggal, anak-anak kecik mengiak, kalau bini kerja kira orait lah jugak, kalau tak kerja, sapa nak bagi makan? Hang nak biar anak hang besar tak de bapak? Kalau anak hang pompuan nak kawin nanti, hang tak nak rasa nak nikahkan anak hang? Kalau hang tak buat untuk diri hang, at least pikir anak-anak hang. Kita umur sama bro, sekarang masa generasi kita pulak yang jalan, tengok member-member kita yang dah meninggal , 42, jalan, 40, jalan, 38, stroke, jadi agar-agar. Yang sengsara sapa? Bukan anak bini? Kalau hang exercise, peh tu padam jugak, at least hang dah try the best yang hang buleh, which is more better dari duduk diam, makan ubat, serah pada nasib."

He was upset with what I said. We did not chat since.

Today, I heard that he still complains about his high blood pressure.

My point here, is that I can only offer advices. Thats it. Thats all I can do. The will to change must come from him. Only he, himself can make it happen. He is lucky though, because he still have friends whom he could count on to give encouragement and support. When I did it a year ago, mocking remarks were thrown at my way, except for a few true friends who believed I could do it.

The thing with all this is, I really want to be there and feels proud when my daughters graduates from school. I want to be there when my daughters tells me they meet someone and falls in love. I want to be the father who gives away his daughters on their wedding day. And one fine day, I hope they'll tell me that they are really proud to have me as a father.

I can never do all that, if I do not take care of my health, being 41 years old and a chain smoker. Yes, its true that I manage to loose weight and are exercising regularly, but I can do more.

I am now at the second phase of my goal to change my lifestyle to become healthier. You might by now know what I am referring too. I am quitting cigarette after having been slaved by it for the last 26 years.

I gradually lessened my cigarette intake from an average of 36 sticks per day last 2 weeks, to 8-9 sticks last week. This week, I manage to reduce it further to an average of 5-6 sticks per day. I no longer bring a pack of ciggarette and a lighter with me, wherever I go.

I aim to be free of cigarette completely in the next few weeks. Wish me luck!

As for that friend of mine, I do hope I insulted him enough to make him think.

Friday, January 15, 2010



Life is never a white and black thing. Never A is A or B is B. Mathematical formula's dont mean shit in life.

I think, thats exactly what makes life beautiful.

It would be a regimented, boring and too routine if we know whats next in store for us. We will be emotionless. Prepared, of course, but let me repeat it again....... emotionless.

How dull would life be then?

I think, life's challenges and mistakes were specifically designed so that we could analyze, assess and learned from it. And so are its high points. All these, should make us better informed and wiser.

That is, if we take heed of it all. Otherwise we are a mere damned fool.

I would say, that the best way to confront whatever life has in its arsenal is to face it head on. A little bit of attitude do helps.

So keep our heads up high.

F**k em all!

Note: Akula is having a Nicotine Withdrawal Syndrome. Please do forgive the mindless rantings and the language. :)

Chain smokers are affected much more than occasional or social smokers. Generally, these people tend to have a smoke as the first task in the morning or during coffee breaks, and it becomes highly difficult for them when they have to live without it. People tend to suffer from loss of concentration, restlessness, panting and perspiration, tension, insomnia, dizziness, irregular sleeping patterns, lowering levels of physical activity, constant fatigue and drowsiness, increased appetite as well as frequent headaches. Some people even feel the consequence while cutting down the frequency of smoking or the number of smokes during the day. The other common symptoms include anger, depression, anxiety and impaired performance level.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


4.19 pm, 8 hours after slap banging it at the back of my shoulder. Counting 4.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Those show off.

Sometimes in our life, we cannot but met those who thinks they know everything. Others opinions does not matter for them and will always be dismissed as unwanted annoying sounds in their ears. Usually I have no problem with these kind of people since they and the sarcastic me avoid each other.

We can always identify these species because they tend to stand out in a crowd. They are the one who talks a lot at any function. They are also the one who sneak their way into a conversation and before we know it, hold their courts for those who dropped their jaws in awe and were mesmerized by their tales of successful undertakings. They usually will show off everything they wear and own in their sad bid to impress themselves and everyone else.

Mr Triple H : You know what? You should buy a Mercedes. You know, being in Europe and all. I myself bought one.
Akula : No, I dont like Merc.
Mr. Triple H : Ah, well, its everybody's dream car. How can you say, you dont like Merc? Obviously you never drive one, but once you try, I am sure you'll get hooked.
Akula: Seriously, I dont like it.
Mr. Triple H : Pity you. Bila lagi nak bergaya? Ke tak cukup duit?

I smiled at his remarks and immediately shot back an answer.

Akula : You dont even know me, and yet you think its okay to assume that I never own a Mercedes? Tell you what, I used to drive a Mercedes, a 190E back in 1998. And the funny thing about all this, I already drove one when I was 31 years old, and borrowing your own word, dah already bergaya back then, while you were still daydreaming about owning a Mercedes. And how old were you when you finally bought your Merc? 48-50 years old?

Mr. Triple H blinked his eyes rapidly and just keep quite. I continued.

Akula : I ditched my 190E in 2002, when I was in Canada since I found out I seriously dont like it. What about you? After slaving yourself for most of your working life, you can only afford to buy it now. And I am sure you will drive this car right after you pencen, and this will be the last car you own. How sad is that? Next time please dont think you are the only one who could afford to own everything.

Upon hearing my lengthy reply, Mr Triple H excused himself from the conversation.

The thing is, I usually don't brag about stuff I owned just for the sake to show off, since I seriously subscribe to the principle of whatever people own is their business. But of course, if a person choose to intrude into my personal life, I am always game for a showdown, and will never shy away giving him a piece of my mind.

And I dont give a shit if that person terasa. He's the one who has to deal with my remarks, not me.

After all, Mercedes is just another car. If we can afford it, why not? But never make the mistake of thinking we are the only one who could afford such luxury and privilege. Others do too.

The only thing different is, they dont go around town and show it off.