THE THING ABOUT US - KUTUK MENGUTUK MEMBAWA BAHAGIA

What is kutuk?

I am not sure whats the correct Dewan Bahasa and Pustaka definition on kutuk, but I am pretty damn sure its not nice. Some would argue that its to condemn, while others might say that its to insult. For me its more like ribbing. I think, whatever it is, all of us had indulge in the mengutuk aktivity, in one form or another, at any one time.

I would not argue here, if mengutuk is right or wrong. Nor will I explore why kutuk mengutuk has been part of our daily life. I am just sharing my experiences on this weird behaviour of ours. I mean why exactly we want to rib our friends? It must be because of we have nothing better to do. Besides, lets admit that its rather fun to see our friends squirming, their minds scrambling and working in full drive, trying to think of something good for that great comeback in a kutuk session.

For a start. let me say that I am really cool with this kutuk thing. Either way is okay with me, whether its being at the receiving end, or the one who mengutuk. In short, kena kutuk pun ok, mengutuk lagi la ok. I dont now about you, but I consider it as one of my fun activity.

But still, there are some unwritten rules which for me, I would try to adhere to. For instance, I would definitely try to avoid saying things about a person's disability.

Let say if someone is blind, pekak or kurang upaya, I will not say anything about it, even if they are open minded enough. But there are exception to this rule. With good friends, disable or not, I tend to shoot off my mouth if I find the situation potentially funny, and if I know he can take it.

A close friend of mine when I was in Canada, Subar, is blind. He works as senior manager in one of the local company there but loves to practice his part time real estate agent skills during his free time. I asked him to look for a house for another friend of mine who was interested to buy a property. After 2 weeks, Subar called;

Subar : Akula! I found a really nice house for your friend.
Akula : Really, how is it?
Subar : I've SEEN the house, I think its perfect for your friend.
Akula : *Laughing* Oit bro! You are blind, how come you said you have seen it?
Subar : Oops sorry, I meant its my wife who has seen it and she described the house to me.
Akula : Ahh, ok.

At first, I felt guilty since I thought I had insulted him, and offered my apology. He just laughed it off, explaining that what he meant was, he went to the house to check it out with his wife and his wife description of the house (to him) was as good as seeing it himself.

The number two rules is to kutuk only if you think your friend can take it. If there is any indication that they are overly sensitive person, forget it, just keep your level of friendship as formal as you can with them. Otherwise, you'll risk the lost of a friendship. And it will be years in the future when your friends finally get over your ribbing and forgive you. If ever.

Back in my college days, a friend of mine, J.E, was really cool with this mengutuk thing. The best thing about him was that I could trade insults about anything without having to worry whether or not I hurt his feelings and vice versa. Our most celebrated ribbing subject was the mother jokes.

J.E: Akula, semalam aku tengok race haram, aku nampak mak hang, baiknyer tengah lap kapchai 5 kupang, cecah telinga, berapi ekzos.
Akula: Itula, hang bawak mak hang pegi tengok race tu kan? Ala tak kan tak ingat, mak hang, baguih giler dok cucuk lengan, happy semacam aku tengok pekena dam (illegal drugs).

We would trade insults like that back and forth. And when we got tired of insulting each other mothers, we turned our attention to our friends, and usually it ended up with fist fight since they couldn't accept it. And nor would other people, I think. But we know that we didnt mean anything by it. Let me just caution you that this kind of kutuk mengutuk is not for the faint hearted and definitely NOT for everybody.

The number three rules and the MOST IMPORTANT one, is do not get involved in kutuk mengutuk sessions if we ourselves tak tahan kena kutuk.

But of course, sometimes, there are those people who cannot take it themselves, tried to be funny and started to rib their dear friends. And when the tide turned and they are at the receiving end, they went crying to their mothers. I encountered this kind of situation a lot of times.

When I started working I rented a house with some friends, and of course, the kutuk mengutuk is one of the things that we did endlessly. My housemate favourite ribbing target on me was my voice since I have this deep, bass like sound whenever I spoke. Which is fine by me (I was ribbed about thatby my schoolmates since my school days, loudspeaker, etc,). One of my housemate concentrated on that particular factor when we were engaged in a kutuk war.

Mr. J : *Imitating my deep voice* SAY SOMETHING AKULA.
Akula : Tak de kerja lain ke?
Mr. J : *Still imitating my voice* COME ON, SAY SOMETHING!.

Since he was so intent to make me say something, so I did.

Akula : Hek eleh, hidung Kembang Setaman pun ada hati nak kutuk aku.

Upon hearing that, he was really pissed off and immediately get up to confront me. He said to my face;

Mr. J : Oi sial! Hidung aku hang jangan kutuk.
Akula: Eleh! Sudahlah! Kutuk suara aku tak pe, kutuk hidung hang tak boleh. Kalau tak boleh kena kutuk, pergi duduk dalam hutan Borneo la, ada monyet sama hidung macam hang.

Needless to say, it ended up in a fistfight. My point is, if we cannot take it, dont get involved. Heck, dont even think about starting a kutuk session. Its so not cool to loose tempers over that kind of things.

Its my opinion, the kutuk thing are meant to be that sort of a fun bonding session with our friends. Its never meant to be taken seriously. Like I said before, if we cannot stand it, dont participate. We always have the choice to walk away before it escalated into something undesirable.

Now, did I just hear someone kutuk this post?

NOTE

Kembang Setaman was the popular friend finder column in the pop mag URTV. Its kind of insulting to be associated with it back then, at least among my friends.

If you are wondering how that monkey look like, here is the pic of the said primate, a proboscis monkey. The idea to associate that friend with this guy in the following pic came from a Tin Tin book, Flight 714.