THE THING ABOUT US : OUR CHOICE

Our community is a concern lot. We tend to make comments and pass remarks about happenings in our community life, even if it got nothing to do with ourselves. I would like to think that its because of our caring and loving nature. We care about others. Usually I dont have any problems and are quite fine with that.

That is, as long as we don't pass any judgement. Anything other beyond the normal comments of such sometimes` devoted act', for me, will be considered as kind of interfering in others affairs.

Lets just say for instance, we heard our friends wants to marry another. We would, of course, (as what we always do) for no good reason, offered our own piece of mind, where it could be;

1. "Oi, dia tu kawin dua". or,

2. "Tu tak puas dengan sorang la tu, dah berumur, kubur kata mari, rumah kata pergi, masih nak cari lain!"

While the first comment sounds innocent enough , the second one is totally uncalled for. So he wants to marry another, so what? Are we the one who is paying for the belanja kenduri? And why the need to lace such comments with such poisonous words?

The following happened to me.

Back in Malaysia, I did my marketing at Pasar Borong, which is very near to my house, and for the reason that its quite cheap, plus its fresh.

Mr. J, never went to Pasar Borong. His shopping was done at Jusco, Tesco and the likes. One day, in a social gathering, our conversation drifted to where we bought our stuff.

Mr. J (With an eeeewww facial expression) : Dont you think Pasar Borong is dirty? And the smell. Fuhhh, you tahan macam mana?

I was taken aback, since I did not expect something like that from a big shit shot.

Akula: What?
Mr. J : Eh, you marah ke?

I countered with a polite answer but raised my voice loud enough to be heard by everyone else at the gathering.

Akula : Eh tak lah, itu opinion you, tapi saya beli kat situ okay, and so far tak la pernah jentik telor you pun.

I walk away, leaving him with a red face which also gave me the impression as if he was trying to squeezed his brain for a great comeback remarks. Other guests were staring speechless at him.

And then theres this friend of mine who told me that he really did not understand how a religious person we both knew, enjoyed his life, since he jaga solat, insisting to pray immediately bila masuk waktu by stopping whatever his doing right there and then. This guy went straight home after office hours to be with his family. "Engko tengok mamat tu, bila masa dia enjoy ntah? Orang pergi la bawak anak bini tengok wayang ke, hapa ke, baru enjoy life". I told that busybody friend of mine, perhaps, that IS the way this mamat enjoyed his life. And for me, theres definitely nothing wrong with that.

My former boss, back in the days when I was working in one of the company somewhere in Damansara, scolded me when I did a mistake in doing my job, "Abis kalau semua orang terjun lubang taik, engkau pun ikut terjun sama?". To which the capitalist side of me boldly answered "Tengok la berapa nak bagi, kalau ratus ribu, why not. Saya tak de hal, bukan tak boleh basuh". The thing was, at that time, I was dead broke with huge debts hanging on top my head, and I figured if there is some way I can earn easy money, seriously, why the hell not. I wasnt going to offer the standard meek reply, "Tak mo lah, giler, tu taik tu" (as what was logically expected) to my boss. I was promptly fired, not because of the mistake I did, but because of "menjawab". I could have offered a safe answer, toe the line and my job will be secured, but I chose not please him. It make more sense to me to just piss him off.

Sometimes we found ourselves at odd with people around us, since we do not share their opinion. We could of course choose, either to confront them with our own thoughts and defend our stand to the death or keep our mouth shut, with a fake smile and nodding our heads even if our inside are screaming to argue back.

Sometimes back, someone asked me whether I prayed. I politely replied, "I am really uncomfortable with your question, and besides, its none of your business". It was an awkward situation. It feels like my very basic integrity was being laid in the open, questioned and judged. Definitely not a good feeling to have. And the weird thing was, I think the question was not even about the prayers. It was about what I should be doing, being at this age, according to her opinion. I really resent that.

I honestly think that we dont have to live our life according the normal, accepted standard of our community, which were set and determined by God knows whom, and since God knows when. Its our life, we should be able live it the way we want to. At this middle age juncture, if we want to listen to Metallica and do some headbanging, do it. If we feel like cycling that 10km mountain road up to the top, hey, do it too. And if we want to devote ourselves to prepare for the afterlife, by all means, carry on with it. We dont need other people to stick their nose in our business with their unwelcome and unnecessary degrading remarks just because we dont do things their way.

Its simply just our own choice. The least people around us should do is to respect that.